relationship violence

Relationship violence may be distinguished: verbal emotional abuse , Physical abuse and sexual abuse. pg 270. An example of emotional abuse would be the Maury show. I know a lot of people watch the show. Sometime their are women on the show who are emotional abuse. Their lover talks to them any kind of way, make them have low self esteem and make them feel like they are worth nothing. Both me and women get emotional abuse. Physical abuse is one of the bigger issues in America today. Women die or get real hurt with physical abuse. I know someone who gets abuse but they never go to the police. They feel like there is no way out but it is. Hopefully that person comes to their senses before it is to late. some people think that a relationship is suppose to be that way. I never been in that type of that situation and if I feel like it is getting to that point I would leave but that is my opinion. What is yours?http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x24kfp_stop-emotional-abuse-celebrate-the_family

Culture and eye communcation

Eye communication is very important to me. As an American we see eye communication a sign of respect. The first thing they teach us is if you are going on an interview make sure you give great eye contact. By looking away it shows that you are afraid and might not be able to handle the job. For other cultures eye communication has a different meaning. For example in in some cultures looking away is a sign of respect. If you give that person eye contact, that means you have no respect for them. Many countries have their own meaning for eye communication. To us their way might seem bad but that is in their culture. I always look a person in the eyes. That is how I communicate my point across. Even if you are telling a lie. You always look that person in the eye to make it believable. I do it all the time and it seems to work. Not saying it is a good thing to do but eye communication helps you out in many situations.http://www.rikkinyman.com/training/japanese_culture/communication.htm

power plays

What is a power play? Power play are patterns of behavior that are used repeatably by one person to take unfair advantage of another person. pg315. There are three types. They are called nobody upstairs, you owe me and yougottobekidding. Everyone uses these power plays. An example of nobody upstairs would be me asking my boyfriend about going to the movies everyday and he never response and finally he says yes. An example of you owe me is my aunt always is willing to help people but she wants something in return. She never does it from her heart. She will through it in your face. An example of yougottabekidding me would be when I tell my sister about a situation and she would say for real. For real is like saying yougottabekidding me. It makes it seems like she is not taking me serious. Power plays are a way of life. You may not know you are doing one but you are. What is your play?http://www.ministryhealth.net/mh_articles/153_42_power_plays.html

Facebook

I use facebook. It is a great way to network,reunite and keep in touch with family and friends. Facebook is one major way of communication. Network convergence occurs: that is a relationship between two people develops, they begin to share their network of other communicators with each other.pg 252. Facebook is very useful to me. My bestfriend and I are distant. He lives in Florida. So when I check on facebook, It makes me feel like we see each other because he has his pictures up of what's going on in his everyday life. Sometimes it feels like I am their and it is the same with him. Even though we talk on the phone, facebook gives us some type closeness. An another example would be I have not seen my cousin in years. We found each other on facebook and he was able to help me in my math homework. Technology plays a big role in society. You can even meet your lover and develop new relationships online. I am glad that I use facebook because without it I would not meet half of the people I know. http://www.facebook.com/facebook?ref=pf

win lose and win win strategies

How many people avoid situation that they have to deal with? I do it a lot. When I am auguring with someone or telling a lie. One strategy if avoidance. Avoidance of conflict may involve actual physical flight.pg 288. For example when I am telling a lie and I get caught in it, I tend to walk away because my facial expression will let him know I am lieng.When I am arguing with someone, I also walk off because if i stay it will only make matters worse. Sometimes I leave so I can cool off. Meaning I need time to myself. I also use force and talk strategies. When I argue and want to be right, I get very emotional and cry so I can win. It seems to work every time. What are your strategies?http://tnl3000.com/conflictincommunication.aspx

Gunnysacking

What is gunnysacking? It sounds like it should not be a word but it is. Gunnysacking is the practice of storing up grievances so they may be unloaded at another time.pg 284 My sister for example gunnysackes a lot. She is very quiet and when something is bothering her she tends to hold it in. Her and my oldest sister currently are living together. you can call my oldest sister the youngest. My middle sister never says anything when the bills are unpaided. She takes up the slack from the oldest sister when she does not pay the bill. I know she gets mad at times but she never shows it. This has happened more than once. What the middle sister does is let it build up over time and then have a break down. To avoid gunnysacking, she should have said something in the beginning to she wouldn't have all this pressure build up inside of her because she ran herself crazy.http://www.blogger.com/www.wfu.edu/~louden/Interpersonal/IPC%20Materials/Defensive%20Communication.ppt

Conflict

How many have ever had a disagreement with someone they know? Everyone has. Interpersonal conflict is disagreement between or among connected individuals who perceive their goals as incompatible.pg. 276. I have had many conflicts with different people. What I mean by different people is with my best friend, partner, and family member. Conflicts can occur in different types of relationships. For example, My sister and I had an argument on paying the bills. I felt she was wrong because I was only seventeen, still in high school and she wanted me to pay bills. I felt she was being unfair to me. So I left the house for a couple of days to cool off. After that she called and everything was resolved. People have conflicts. To me it is normal because without conflicts, how will we solve anything. People have to disagree in order to agree. If everyone agreed a ot of things would not be discovered or better. Things would remain the same.Having conflicts is always a good thing in my book.http://www.abacon.com/commstudies/interpersonal/inconflict.html

what is your family theme?

Everyone has a family theme. A family theme to me is something that describes the type of family you have and what makes your family who they are. I never knew my family had a theme. What lead me up to the theme was just talking about my family in class. For example, my family is very organized. When I say organized, I mean when we have family discusions or issues that need to be adress, my family prints out agenda's like we are at a business meeting. I know it sounds crazy. Even for holidays we get together for christmas ever year and they put a program together in the other of how everything is going to play out. My family is a little crazy but that is what makes us a family Doing things that we can only understand.Family themes can be good or bad. It is however you want ot describe your family. My family theme is organized so what are family themes?

What is your famiy type?

Everyone has a different family type. The types are traditional, independent and seperate couples. My family type are all three. When I was younger, my family type was tradititional. We seemed like a perfect family. We ate together on Sundays, my mom cooked evey sunday. My mom was a house wife and my dad brought in the income. As I got older it change from traditonal to independent. My mom wanted to do things on her own. So my dad taught her how to pay the bills and showed her how to do other things. My mom always agreed with my father on everything. As she got more indepentdent she voice her opinion a lot. When I became a teenager they became separte. They had problems and it in up leading to a divorce. The reason for the divorce was they grew apart and they stayed togerther because of us. Pg 262http://wps.ablongman.com/ab_devito_intrprsnl_10/0,7393,603544-,00.html

How many people have someone they admire are think they know? Meaning that person does not really know you but you feel like you know them. The word for that is called parasocial. Parasocial are relationships that audience members perceive themselves to have with media personalities.Pg 222. I have a parasocial with many celebrities. I assume that I know what is going on in their everyday life. Sometimes I think I am real good friends with them. I can tell people their whole life story and think know what I am talking about. It sounds a little creepy when you talk about, but everyone does it. I develop a relationship with many celebrities that I admire by parasoical. It is good to have a parasocial relationship because celebrities would not be where they are today without it. You can do it by watching movies,videos or researching on the internet. What is your parasocial? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETafWy-9iTE

Territorial markers

How many people leave there marks everywhere they? Some people do without noticing it. As humans It becomes normal for us. Territoriality is another type fo communication having to do with sapce, the possessive reaction to an area or particular objects. Even animals have markers!(Pg 144) There are three types of markers I use. The first one is central marker which are items you place in a territory to reserve it for you. For example, when my boyfriend and I go to The movies, I go use the restroom and leave my jacket in the seat. That is to let someone know that if is occupied. The second marker is boundary which divides your territory from that of others. For example if you own a home and put a fence around your home, that is a boundary for people to know. The last one is ear marker which is marks that indicate your possession of a territory of object. An example would be having a nice car which says something about me. An example for an animal would be urinating on grass to mark theie spot.9Pg 145)http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dterritoriality%26b%3D22%26ni%3D21%26ei%3DUTF-8%26xargs%3D0%26pstart%3D1%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701%26fr2%3Dtab-web&w=500&h=452&imgurl=farm2.static.flickr.com%2F1224%2F1416029804_abcf440b2f.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjcgr1%2F1416029804%2F&size=216k&name=Keep+away&p=territoriality&oid=6ff97b111c0e8e46&fr2=tab-web&fusr=jcgr&no=32&tt=583&b=22&ni=21&sigr=11e088o0n&sigi=11m4v79g3&sigb=13rpc215c

relationships and rules

I know alot of people are in relationship but how can you read the person you are with. By saying read, meaning how can you tell if the relationship is a good one or bad? What are some of the rules that you guys have for each other? Currently I am in a relationship and it is a good one. Not perfect but who relationship is? My partner and I have rules. Sometimes he does not know what personal space is, so majority of the time I ask for it. For some reason he thinks when I ask him for space, he thinks I am breaking up with him. That theory is called relationship ruless theory which means relationships are held together by adherence to certain rules. When those rules are broken, the relationship may deteriorate and even dissolve.(Pg)219 Another theory I can compare my relationship to is equity theory, which means ratio of rewards to cost is equal to your partner's. For some reason, he puts more in than me. Previous relationships I have had, it has always been the opposite and I feel gulity about it. I overbenifitted in this relationship, which means feeling guilty.So what are your rules for any relationship?http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/comm321/gwalker/relationships.htm

Do you consider a person that is deaf a speaker?

Does anyone know a deaf person or are friends with one? Well in class we had a deaf speaker. I know It sounds a little crazy but yes they speak. They speak with their hands. It was real interesting to find out that being deaf does not stop people from living. There are so many things that the world has to offer them now. One thing is that technology has improved.They own cell phones and are able to drive. I know it is hard to believe but it is true. I would consider communication for deaf people nonverbal. Nonverbal messages are when you use facial expression,eye contact and gestures.Pg 99. They use hand gestures a lot and facial expression to let the audience feel what they are talking about through their hands. That is how they communicate,not verbal but nonverbal. Deaf people are no different from people who cannot hear.http://www.ohsoez.com/deafnews.htm Did you know they play sports too. It is good to know that just because they cannot hear, does not mean that they do not have a normal because they do!!!!!!!!!!

how does your family show static evaluation

My family uses a lot of static evaluation. Static evaluation is an orientation that fails to recognize that the world is constantly changing; an attitude that sees people and events as fixed rather than never changing.(pg 123) There are many types of static evaluation. First example would be elderly people thing that the world is still the same, meaning nothing never change since in their youth days. They fail to recognize it. another example would be my mother. My mother still looks at me as her baby girl and thinks that i cannot do any wrong. She does not recognize that I am an adult who can make my own decision.Overall the rest of my family also looks at me still being the baby in the family. It has its disadvantages and advantages. It depends on the situation. Even though I make deceion on my own, my mother still questions me about.

how does following a certain culture make you fit into americans society?

In my opinion, to fit into America's society, you have to change your whole appearance and leave yourself behind. Meaning if you want to be successful, you have to be able to fit into low power culture. Low power means a general feeling of equality that is consistent with acting assertively. (Pg. 36)For example, I am African American and we tend to to use Ebonics. I also love rap music. If I had to met with a business partner on discussing a business proposal, I can not speak to my business partner as if I were talking to my family or friends. I would have to change myself and act a certain way in order for that person to take me seriously. I have to learn how to adapt to that environment. Also, if I was invited to my boss house, if they had classical music on, I will have to adapt to that. It is inapropriate to put on rap and it is not that type of party.http://www.linkageinc.com/thinking/linkageleader/Documents/Denison_Consulting_Workplace_Diversity_Is_National_or_Organizational_Culture_Predominant.pdf

How does technical impact the way people communicate

Technical is used for almost everything. Its is used through computers,phones, and ect. Computers and phones play a major part on how people communicate in todays society. An example would be networking through a computer. My friends and I chat all the time on a site called facebook. facebook. I can be the sender or reciever. I send messages all the time. The computer translates my message and my friends receives it. Sometimes when I try to send a message, pop ups accur which is an example of noise. Noise means something that interupts your messages when trying to send. Phones are a great way to ccommunicate. You could be anywhere using your phone which is consider context. Context to me means where you are at any given time. By talking to someone on the phone, you are channeling, which means two way between two people having a conversation.

how does being sociteal affect the way people interact with each other vs personal rules? what are the boundaries

There are different types of relationships that we Americans use. Societal affects how people interact by establishing whats appropriate for that situation. An example would be the relationship between the cashier and customer. The cashier is doing his or her job by checking the customer out. It is not appropriate for the Cashier to ask the customer why they made grocer's and it is not appropriate for the customer to ask the customer, what time does she or he get off from work. That would be rules of society. Personal rules affect family,lovers and friends. This relates to my boyfriend and I. We interact on the basis of personally establish rules. The way we touch each other ,look at one another and talk to each other. In our relationship,we have boundaries meaning, things I talk to my girlfriends about, I would not share with him.jstor.org/stable/256362?cookieSet=1